Can’t Compare


What I have here with you,

Can’t be compared,

To anything I’ve dealt with before.

Illusion has been swept away.

Bringing me finally,

To this day.

I see now the difference,

From the infatuation,

The passionate lust,

And what is real.

I used to feel an overwhelming desire,

To let my feelings be known.

A fear secretly grasping at my joy.

Reminding me that this wouldn’t last.

That I would eventually lose this company.

Words would spill over the edge,

Petal to the metal of the relationship.

Every overture available used.

Just to express the passionate feeling.

Lust and fear mistaken as love.

That much more tender,

With the walls and gates lowered.

Only in an effort to feel.

In effort to find the only piece missing.

Now I see and feel much clearer.

The others playing as teachers for my heart.

Showing me to recognize the truth of your company.

Old fears are easily dismissed.

The true feeling is finally here.

Brought to the forefront.

It’s easily seen by your simple actions.

The words sit on the corner of my lips.

I feel the phrase pass between us when we kiss.

These words unspoken,

Can’t be compared

To those spoken so freely by others.

I know I will hear them,

When the time is right.

I know when I do,

The meaning will hold more weight,

Than when they have ever been said before.

You couldn’t ever be compared

To anyone before.

They were never the one,

I was waiting for. 

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Finally Free


I have sat here alone with thoughts of you spontaneously drifting,

Floating through my mind.

I have finally been forced by my own heart and spirit,

To face what I have ignored.

Feelings bubbling to the surface,

Silent tears form.

Releasing all the hurt and pain,

That I have stored.

I have spent too long trying to be angry,

Too much time trying to hate you for leaving.

My mind understood your reasoning,

My heart felt a bullet,

Shards of shrapnel piercing the tender spots.

I have spent months saying I was finished,

Saying that I had forgiven,

Insisting that I moved on.

I find ignoring those feelings easy,

When you are out of sight and out of mind.

Then suddenly you reappeared on the outskirts of my life.

The tears and spontaneous thoughts cause me to finally admit,

I am not angry, nor upset.

I only find it harder to say,

That I still love you.

Now that my internal battle is complete,

I can tuck away these words

And finally be free.

No longer will they be lodged in the back my mind

Haunting the background of my life.

Finally letting go of our possibilities,

Putting to rest our past,

To that chapter of our history,

I can say goodbye at last.

Tug Of War


The question

Plays

On my mind

Should I

Have said

Anything

At all

That night?

The fear

Regret

Taking turns

Eclipsing

My hopes

The glitter

Of a promising

Potential

Dusted

With the diamonds

From

A dreaming heart

Occasionally

Over Shadowed

Fears taking over

The unknown

Feeling so

Overwhelming

A tug of war

Pulled and stretched

Fear pulling

Tempting me 

To just

Rebuild that wall

To close 

That bridge

And just

Just

Walk away

Yet

Anchored

In this

Tug of war

Is a heart

That bats

Away

Fighting the fears

Healing the past

For it knows

If it holds on

This is the one

That will last

Move Along


Imperfectly perfect

Is my life,

For my happiness

I always strive.

My set of rules

My set of beliefs

I choose to

Not cater to you

For me to be

Happy

I will be loved

As I am

For who I am

Not molded

Or sculpted

Into the monster

Who does your bidding

So as I am

I will remain

You can move along

Out of my life

I will move along

To someone who loves me

As me

Then they

Can call me wife

Reversed


 

Years ago

I was with you

I felt something deep

I was filled with joy

I felt so happy.

Then you weren’t so deep

It wasn’t the same

Saying we must part ways.

My heart was very young

I was convinced

It was me

That you could change

That eventually

You would truly care.

My young heart

Knew I had to go

Though my heart was broken

I refused

To torture my soul

Using the last 3 years

To become

Once again whole.

Now its reversed

You want to come back

You swear you love me

Need me

Want me

Yet I have a hard time believing

The bucket of salt

I use for your words

Has seasoned my heart

So I in disappointment

I will no longer hurt.

Just Invade


butterflySlow procession

Drips and drops of thought

First a name

Phrases here or there

A smile just caught

So easily adjusted

Fitting into the routine

Did you plan

To just quietly invade?

My thoughts have conceded

You step closer to succeeding

Coming closer

To the final battle

Inch by inch

Scars from another

Fade away

As I start to forget

You start to replace

Another name

I never noticed

That my world

Was overturned

And I let you

Just Invade

It Rains It Pours


They say

When it rains

It pours

I know this

So stop

Beating down my door

I searched for you

All over

From West Virgina

To Hoover

In smoked filled rooms

Behind tinted glasses

Around the corner

With a friend

I searched

And searched

What seemed

Like it would never end

Then I stopped

My mind bending

Focusing on me

No longer

Worrying about pairing

With someone fantastic

Crazy Free

Like me

Now time has floated

Brought options

My Way

You know what they say

When it rains

It pours

Only comforts

Me more