The Right Choice


I’ve been down this road before.

Different places,

Different faces,

The same decision.

Do I keep trying?

Do I forgive the heartache?

Or do I forgive myself?

Do I heal and move on?

I have been here

So many times before.

I felt ignorant

For making the same choice

Over and over

Yet, expecting

Different results.

So this time

I made the right choice.

I made my peace with our history.

I kept those memories tucked away

When you came this way.

I stomped out those embers

And chose different.

This time I moved ahead

Glad that lesson

Is finally over with.

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No Turning Back


Constantly

We come upon crossroads

A choice we must make.

Do we face our fears?

Or do we run in a panic?

Do we experience the unknown?

Or do we take the safe path,

Possibly losing the best thing

That has yet to happen in our lives.

Do we risk heartbreak?

Or choose to tuck our hearts away?

Putting our fragile hearts back into the glass case

In end the still breaking it

Only because now

You long for what you once had

And things will never be the same.

The future possibilities now gone.

Crossroads are a tricky thing.

Choices that forever change your path.

They can bring great happiness,

Or lessons to shape our characters.

In the end,

We must all have faith

In the choices we make.

That we are blessed to receive another chance

To say what’s in our hearts,

On our minds

And this time

Choose the right path

The one you knew

You should have chosen

The first time

Part Time Boyfriend


I don’t want a part time boyfriend

Who’s only concern is to be here

When it’s convenient for him

When our relationship fits

Neatly into the folds of his life

Love is messy

It’s overwhelming

Exhilarating

And calm all at the same time

 

I don’t want you here to hold my hand

Just because the sun is shining

And things feel

Just so right

 

I don’t want you here

To make promises

That only in that moment

Do you intend to keep

Hoping instead

That I will forget

 

My time is not to be wasted

If I tell you I love you

I meant it

But,

By no means am I an escape

From your everyday life

I want a man to stand by my side

Not a part time boyfriend

That hides when life gets uncomfortable

 

I may love you

And all our memories

Yet time will not be wasted

When the disclosure had been given

Either you are here or there

No maybe

No inbetween

 

It’s full time or no time

With that said

You can take our memories to bed

Being part time

Only thoughts of me

Will you get

 

 

Tug Of War


The question

Plays

On my mind

Should I

Have said

Anything

At all

That night?

The fear

Regret

Taking turns

Eclipsing

My hopes

The glitter

Of a promising

Potential

Dusted

With the diamonds

From

A dreaming heart

Occasionally

Over Shadowed

Fears taking over

The unknown

Feeling so

Overwhelming

A tug of war

Pulled and stretched

Fear pulling

Tempting me 

To just

Rebuild that wall

To close 

That bridge

And just

Just

Walk away

Yet

Anchored

In this

Tug of war

Is a heart

That bats

Away

Fighting the fears

Healing the past

For it knows

If it holds on

This is the one

That will last

In This Moment


In this moment

My heart and head collide

Causing inner turmoil and strife

In that moment

I thought I loved you

Wanted you

Needed you

Then I found you

The hidden you

A person I don’t know

Don’t love

~~~~~~~~~~~

In this moment

Of turmoil and strife

My head wants routine

This life I’ve come to live

With a person I no longer know

My head rationalizes

My reasons to stay

Here with you

Unhappily married

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In this moment

Of turmoil and strife

My heart pushes and prods

My soul to fight

To live with a smile

In the arms

For which it yearns

To hold on to the magic

My heart thought was lost

The love

For which it truly sought

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In this moment

Where my head and heart collide

I must do my best

To make the turmoil subside

Do I stay with what I’ve always know?

Or do I fight for the love I deserve?

Different


At one time,

I would change my life for you.

Shape myself

Mold myself

To be with you.

I thought I was happy

I thought I was safe

Secure.

In time,

We fell apart

Then together again.

Now apart for the final time.

At first,

I said you were different

But I was wrong

You weren’t different,

I was blind

I refused to see that side of you.

I find that I am different,

I am more me

Than anything.

You have only gotten

More close minded

As my horizons

Have expanded.

So I will continue

And stay changing

In each moment

As you cling on

To a mold

Of the past.

I Am Simply


I am simply dreaming

Awaking in a haze

Moving along

In my day to day

Try to snap out of

This conforming daze.

I am simply full of joy

When I am me

Not a stereotype

Not a clone

Simply not what I go for.

I am simple

Bring me the sun

Bring me the rain

No matter

I am always

Full of faith.