I have sat here alone with thoughts of you spontaneously drifting,
Floating through my mind.
I have finally been forced by my own heart and spirit,
To face what I have ignored.
Feelings bubbling to the surface,
Silent tears form.
Releasing all the hurt and pain,
That I have stored.
I have spent too long trying to be angry,
Too much time trying to hate you for leaving.
My mind understood your reasoning,
My heart felt a bullet,
Shards of shrapnel piercing the tender spots.
I have spent months saying I was finished,
Saying that I had forgiven,
Insisting that I moved on.
I find ignoring those feelings easy,
When you are out of sight and out of mind.
Then suddenly you reappeared on the outskirts of my life.
The tears and spontaneous thoughts cause me to finally admit,
I am not angry, nor upset.
I only find it harder to say,
That I still love you.
Now that my internal battle is complete,
I can tuck away these words
And finally be free.
No longer will they be lodged in the back my mind
Haunting the background of my life.
Finally letting go of our possibilities,
Putting to rest our past,
To that chapter of our history,
I can say goodbye at last.